In the summer of 1994, we embarked on a family vacation road trip in our 1992 blue Suburban. The main destination was Twin Lakes, Minnesota where we were to vacation with our friends, the Dileos. It was a memorable trip which included Rob being mauled by a German Shepard in Minneapolis and us staying in some very interesting B&B’s. The itinerary also included Chicago where we made it to the top of the Sears Tower, but we missed the boat that was to give us a tour on the Chicago River. Here is our iconic family photo from that debacle:
The week following that photo, our family would walk across the Mississippi River at its source in Lake Itasca, MN.
As we were preparing to leave Baton Rouge, Coco and I realized that we were going to be spending around 60 hours inside an automobile with four children ages 3-11. For short trips, we had various methods such as the Quiet Game, MM’s, and Adventures in Odyssey to maintain order. However, with this long trip, I knew corporal punishment was probably going to be required. After getting everything and everyone loaded into the vehicle, while we were still parked in the driveway, I pulled out a heavy wooden spoon – like 18 inches long and laid it up on the dashboard. That got the children’s attention. I then said, “This is The Spanking Spoon and I hope I will not have to use it.” I explained the rules. If they started fighting to the point that warranted a spanking, I would give them a first warning. If they started fighting again, I would give them a second warning. If they did it a third time I would pull over and all four children, regardless of who started it, would get spanked.
The first warning came before Natchez. The second one was near Memphis. It was now mid-afternoon, the allotted ration of MM’s had been used, at least two Odyssey programs had been listened to, and the Quiet Game was spent. The bops, whines, shouts, and cries from the back exceeded the limit. We were out on a long stretch of road in the middle of nowhere and I let off the gas and nudged toward the shoulder. All noise ceased. “What are you doing Dad?!” Without turning I said, “That was number 3.” “Dad it was Katherine’s fault.” “No, Rob started it!” “Doesn’t matter, everyone gets a spanking” I said as I pulled the Suburban to a stop, grabbed the Spanking Spoon, got out and went around to the passenger side. “Everyone out.”
“No, Dad, No! We won’t fight anymore.”
I started with little Sophie. I gave her a couple of light pops on her behind and she responded with a requisite short wail. Rob was next. He had instigated some of the fighting – he was a master at riling up Laura. So, I stung him pretty hard on both cheeks and he unleashed a bawling fit. I stepped back to check and make sure there was no one around who might report me for child abuse. Katherine was next. When I leaned her up against the fender and told her to put her hands on the hood, Rob caught his breath. He did not want to miss this. Katherine was as much, if not more of a culprit than Rob. So, I gave her a significant spanking as well. I don’t remember her wailing, but tears certainly ran. I then turned to Laura. “Your turn, Laura.”
Laura folded her arms and stared me straight in the eyes. “I am eleven years old. I am too old to be spanked. You are just going to have to come up with a more creative way to punish me than spanking.”
“Hmmm. Ok, you have a point, let me see what we can do.” I consulted with Coco and we determined that an alternative punishment for Laura would be for her to forgo desserts at meals for three days in lieu of the spanking. Laura accepted the option, albeit somewhat reluctantly. Laura loved desserts.
Over the next three days, Laura’s siblings were treated to some of the best sweets of their young lives: sundaes, banana splits, and chocolate mousse. By the second night Laura almost caved and agreed to a spanking. But to her credit she held out and endured her punishment.
Despite the sugar highs from the extra sweets, the children were much better behaved for the balance of the trip. We did not do a lot spanking in our family. But when it was appropriate, we did, and it was quite effective at restoring order.
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